He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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