And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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