Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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