why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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