Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
