i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
send nudes
from the living room?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
