i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
