all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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