He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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