And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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