man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
