I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
