There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
