I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Randomize
