im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
