that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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