I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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