....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
