So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
