wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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