After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
