Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
