We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
