and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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