Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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