Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
