I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
