ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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