We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
