I am puke
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
