I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
