and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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