My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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