As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Randomize
