Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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