So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
