Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
