I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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