He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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