I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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