Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
