I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
