why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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