So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
