He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
