Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
