Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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