I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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