Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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