sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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