who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
