Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
