i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
