I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize
