so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
